Monday, June 8, 2009

Technicolor Rainbows, Puppies and Fuzzy Ducks

Ok this post has absolutely nothing to do with any of the items in the title. It was meant as some evil plot to make you read my entry here. Secretly it is about my icky night and morning.

Last night even though it was a comfy 73/74 degrees in my house I was cold. That should have been the first indicator something was wrong. I felt like I had been kicked by a horse in the lower back and lower front. Again, this should also have been another indicator. So I took some aleve like a good girl, a muscle relaxer for good measure and passed out. Since TOM decided to show up almost a month late I have double duty right now. I figured I was just having my behind handed to me by mother nature.

Then this morning I get a message from the OB office. My mind starts racing a bajillion miles an hour. "Mrs. Puck we are sorry to inform you we were wrong, your ovaries have moved to Baja and are sipping margaritas along with any chance of you having a baby." or "Mrs. Puck you have contracted a rare form of Nobaybitol and you are unable to have children." These were all the wonderful thoughts running through my head as I was put on hold for what seemed to be an hour. Turns out I have a UTI, hooray! I never thought that I would be relieved to find out I have a bladder infection. Yes all my symptoms from yesterday: roaring case of the lazies, chills, back pain, abdominal pain can all be chalked up to a fargin' UTI. Did I mention TOM was here too? Fun fun fun fun fuuuuuun.

Oh yeah, and Mack my "wonderful" Jack Russell decided to have diarrhea at 3:30 this morning in my sisters room on the carpet. Hooray! So that was the very first thing anyone said to me this morning when I woke up. No, wait, I take that back. My fuzband is on call this week for his IT job and was woke up several times this morning for problems. So when I first woke up it was him talking about how he had only slept for an hour.

Just got a call from fuzband he is getting my meds for me from the pharmacy. He left work as soon as he got there because his tummy was doing flips this morning and to top it all off when he got to the security desk the would not let him come in because he didn't have his badge. Even though he walks by this desk every day, he has a tag in his car letting him park in the parking lot, he is obviously dressed for work, his peers can vouch for him. Oh noooo....he couldn't show them his ID....no, the only person who could vouch for him was in a meeting. At that point I think he figured out that he wasn't supposed to be at work today according to security and his flip flopping tummy. Now the fuzband is in a spectacular mood and feels like flaming turds as well.

What in the flappin' crap is going on in the universe? Has some cosmic curse descended upon the Puck household? A plague carrying diarrhea, vomiting, cramps, UTI, back pain, fever...aaaah we have Jelly Fish Flu!

I think I will snuggle up next to my dachshund and put a diaper on him. I see bed in my future as well.

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