Sunday, May 31, 2009

Busy B (Buzzzzzzz)

I have been so busy lately that I forgot tomorrow is my big Dr. appointment. I am going to make sure that the baby factory is in order before the fuzband and I start up the production line. Now that I have remembered it is tomorrow I have begun to worry. I am nervous about it. Very nervous, it isn't just the, will my butt actually fall off the table when I am asked to inevitably scoot to the end of the table, but for real nervous. Have I waited too long to have a baby, will they find that my ovaries have packed up and left for parts unknown? I hate the unknown variable, the when and who and why and things I am out of control of.
For instance the whole baby thing. I have no control what so ever of when and where I get pregnant and that bothers me. I would love to say you know I think I would like to get pregnant in late spring so I won't be sweating to death by the end of the summer. Oh no I am at the fate of little ity bitty teensy weensy little tadpole looking guys and an egg!
So at 11:00 o' clock ish tomorrow when I am being told to "relax...just let your leg fall to the side" (YEAH RIGHT!) think of me and send up a little prayer for courage and grace.

Friday, May 29, 2009

You take a big box in, you take a big box out, then you do the Hokey Pucky

Attention all three SuperPucky readers...
SuperWeezie has moved in with Pucky and Fuzband. Yes after many boxes, curse words, sore back/legs/knees/ankles/feet, carry out, SuperWeezie has joined the Puck household.
So far we have re-written "Dancing Queen" into "Coupon Queen":
"You can shop, you can clip, having the time of your liiiiiife.
Ooooohh See that girl watch her save she is the coupon queeeeeeen....".
Yes this is my own personal theme song as I sit here after printing two billion coupons out in prep of shopping. We have also made an attempt at nostrilling tea while laughing. (In case you are wondering that means shooting liquids out of nose while laughing hard, think circa 3rd grade when your best pal told you a joke and milk appeared from your nose). There has been much giggling and moving and frivolous stupidity...hopefully Fuzband can put up with us.

In more not fun news I am retaining water like a sponge....friggin T.O.M. where are you!? So instead of reporting that I have reached 299 I am telling you that my ankles are swollen, diurex does not work, my ring is tight, and I weigh 307 right now.
Rabba-frabba-frigga-fragga-flarnandfilth @#*^#*()*)(&!(&)&!!!I*&*(%^&*(*&^%^&*&^%#### (insert other expletives)!!!! I have been working my behind off and my behind is refusing to shrink.....ARGH!
Can you tell that I am frustrated? I know this too shall pass. To exacerbate the problem I have not exactly been eating all that great. Yes I know it is all staring back at me as plain as the letters I type. That I am only making things worse by eating crappy. I thought I would whine and cry to the internet hoping to expel my frustration via blog form. Hoping that publishing it to the internet that the frustration will leave me along with 8 pounds of water weight and fat.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Gratuitous Disney Photo Posts For Your Entertainment

(To enlarge double click picture)
SuperWeezie (sister), Fuzzband, and SuperPucky
Disney's Animal Kingdom
The Tree of Life in the background
We just left Mickey's Philharmagic at the Magic Kingdom
Notice who has Duck butt on her head and Duck face on his head.

Tom Sawyer's Island in the Background at Magic Kingdom

Move It Shake It Celebrate It Parade at Magic Kingdom

Love That Man of Mine!
We are on the Harambe Wilderness Preserve Safari at Animal Kingdom
Super Pucky At Animal Kingdom
The View is great From Here!
Steamboat at Magic Kingdom

Romanticle Horse Drawn Carriage Ride on our anniversary at
Disney's Port Orleans Riverside Resort
(where we stayed-loved it!)

SuperWeezie, SuperPucky, SuperFuzband
The Seas Exhibit at Epcot Center
SuperPucky(left) and SuperWeezie
Disney's Hollywood Studio's
Disney Will Bring out the Lover in you
The Happiest Place on Earth
Magic Kingdom
Happiest Pucky on Earth

Don't worry more pictures will come later..I promise :P

Victory Is Within Reach!

Holy Calories Batman! The scale said blinkity blink-301.4-301.4-301.4. I can see 299 he is standing just outside of the spot light and giving me the raspberry and going "neener neener, Ha -Ha!" When I catch 299 he is going to get the noogies of a life time-and a spa pedicure.

Ever have one of those cleaning and rearranging binges that you can not stop! I feel like I have been hosting one of my own personal episodes of Clean Sweep. I regret to inform you that I don't have a budget for redecorating and my own personal team of decorators and carpenters. It is just me and the the hubby and the puppies. Between you and me, the puppies are not pulling their weight. OK, they do offer moral support in the form of wagging tails and a head licking while you are in some impossible twister position while rewiring your entertainment center. I have been doing some much needed rearranging that has made my life a hell of a lot easier. I am contemplating a trip to Home Depot to further my efforts but restricted budget has been cramping my redecorating efforts. I have gotten our rack stand in the living room and out of my bedroom (yes bedroom). It will accommodate our ever expnding collection of electronic gizmos. It looks super nifty like we are some sort of electronic geeks or something..uh..no not us!

I need to think about my new short term goal after 299, 280-is that too little, 275, 250-too much? I think maybe I am thinking too hard, I just need to hold on to the pull bar while the coaster car goes down the hill and scream "WHEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEE!".

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Boing Boing Boing Boing

I feel like one of those balls you could buy from the red machines at the exit of Kmart. Remember when bliss could be purchased for a mere quarter? Yes the bouncy balls that if you dropped them on the floor at Kmart your poor parents would spend the next five minutes chasing down like an epileptic monkey for fear you would begin wailing like a police siren in front of God and all the check outs.
I am soooooo close to 299 I can smell it, or taste it or...what ever! Anyways I am all giddy because I ordered some smaller new clothing from the Avenue, thanks to retailmenot.com I got 25% off of the already on sale prices and got 300.00 worth of clothing for around 155.00, HA! :::triumphantly holding confirmation sheet over head and prancing like pretty pretty pony:::
I am going to take a walk at our beautiful Riverfront park with the fuzzband today. Who would think that I would actually choose a place to exercise as a destination on a Saturday. Will wonders never cease?
Oh word to the wise shoppers out there, I have re-discovered Cheerios, the Banana Nut and Apple Spice Cheerio's rrrrOCK! Let's see, they are om nom nom nomable, low in sugar, high in fiber/grains, made with real oats (lowers the cholesterol), low calorie, and could be eaten right out of the box as a snack. Add banana to bowl of Cheerio's and small glass of oj and you have completed a balanced breakfast (just like the cheesy commercial says).
Also new dessert that won't make you feel or look like a blimp afterward. Wal-Mart brand fat free pineapple sherbet (with tid bits of pineapple-squeee!), a splash of pineapple juice in a glass with spoon and straw. I totally ripped this off of the Dole Whip at Disney World, and it tastes just like it! Oh don't forget obligatory fat free whipped cream on top to make you feel all decadent and what not. My husband and I hoovered them down with brain freeze glee. I can't wait to try this with the Orange Sherbet and Peach Sherbet with peach nectar....(drool).
Ok time to get dressed and go bounce around the park and try to drop those last few stubborn pounds so I can run down the street screaming 299, 299, 299, oh yeah and get my spa pedicure.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I am shrinking! (bad Wicked Witch Impression)

Hello ladies and germs! I am now O-fficially 304. Yes you heard it 304 fooooooOOOOooour.
Yes I am excited to report that I am only five count em' five measly little pounds from 299!
I know that each pound lost is great and blah blah blah, but I want the first number to be a TWO!

This will be the first time my weight has started with a two in over FIVE years! I was so excited about my weight loss yesterday that it called for a new pair of shoes. Yes folks, Puck needed a reward. I got the cutest black sandally looking espadrilles I believe they are called. They are super cute and comfy and the best part only 20 bucks! Yes shopping victory of the day!

After finding uber cute shoes I needed to celebrate so I went out to play trivia at a local bar and wing place. Had a great time and discovered very good lite beer. Miller Genuine Draft 64, very nomable and low carb, cal, and still gives you that warm and swimmy feeling. I need to figure out what the celebration will be for 299? I think a spa pedicure will be in order. I haven't had one in some time and it will go well with the new sandals!

I also purchased a girdle. Yes you heard it right, a girdle, the kind Grandma used to wear. I was looking at myself in the mirror thinking you know if I could just suck my gut and tummy in all day I would look even smaller! I used to work for Catherines and Added Dimensions and they sold girdles, let me tell you something, they work. They keep everything from moving and shaking and put it all where it is supposed to be and keeps it there. So I broke down and purchased a long line pantie and tummy trimmer. It starts out below the bra and ends about mid thigh. This bad boy took me from a comfy 24 to a perfect fit 22 pair of skinny jeans. I put them on and could actually slide my entire hand flat against my tummy into the pants and back out easily. Anyone who has a big tummy/gut will know that is amazing. I cannot believe that I am wearing size 22 jeans when just last October I was bursting out of a size 32. Now a word to the wise, to get those kind of results it does take sacrifice, you won't be running the Boston Marathon in this girdle or tap dancing your way across a stage. It is tight, and constrictive but achieves desired results. It does make you stand up straight and think twice before ordering any fattening foods. I think I am going to get a second one next month. I think looking and feeling good has been a really good motivator for me to keep going.

Next month I will be celebrating my 34th birthday, I have decided to do it in style. I followed William Shatner's advice and hopped on Priceline negotiator! (singing like goofy commercial and doing karate move simultaneously) I got a room at the Marriott Charleston on the Ashley River which is four stars by the way for 99.00 dollars! Me and the fuzband are going to have a romanticle weekend in Charleston. I have booked us dinner at the California Dreaming restaurant which offers stunning views of the Ashley River as well and it is only a mile from the hotel. We are only a few miles from Folly Beach State Park which is a whopping 7.00 for parking and all the fun and sun I can tolerate. I am going to check on the horse drawn ghost tours to see how much they are. I cannot wait! Fun and romance all on the cheap! I figured I was done waiting for romantic things from my husband I will create it myself!

Ok everyone prayers and thin thoughts for me as I soldier forward toward 299.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Good Morning?

The following occurred between 6:00 AM and 9:00 AM (best Keifer Sutherland impression).
6:14 Snuffling wiener dog wake up call
6:15 AM let both dogs out.
6:16 AM return to bed and pass out.
6:16 AM to 8:59 AM ZZZZzzzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZ
9:00 AM rolling thunder
9:00 and 1/2 minute later AM realize dogs still outside
9:01 AM ask fuzband to get dogs
9:01 AM hear fuzband cuss from back door
9:02 AM begin futilely calling dogs from front and back door
9:03 AM get dachshund back in house and give cookie for coming when called
9:04 AM hear fuzband continue to curse and mumble about idiot dogs asking why dachshund gets cookie, explained he showed up when called
9:05 AM call stupid Jack Russell who dug hole in fence he returns to wrong side of fence (no hole) and looks at me with question mark ears and stupid guilty expression
9:05 and a half AM go to front door and get previously mentioned idiot Jack Russell in home
9:06 AM lightning strikes, bad storm surrounding house
9:08 AM weigh self, 305lbs Woo hoo
9:09 AM tell fuzzband about weight loss victory, his reply, "cool"
9:09 AM and 1/2 minute later fuzband begins complaining about dogs, work and life in general
9:10 AM Amanda looks at frying pan and back of fuzzband's head :P
9:15 AM Amanda looks at frying pan shrugs and goes back for frosted mini wheat induced coma
9:20 AM Amanda convinces fuzband that showering during lightning storm not a good idea as evidenced in previously viewed mythbuster episode where confirmation of getting zapped in shower was confirmed
9:30 AM check weather.com storm is passing
9:31 AM realize Fuzzband is already in the shower
9:42 AM begin checking blogger.com and post

Ramblings from 2:24 AM from an Insomniac

Ah, me, you, laptop, and Tylenol PM. The life of an insomniac with an achy leg who has too many thoughts floating around in her head.
As I laid in bed next to my Fuzband (who was doing his level best to imitate an accordion being run over by a steam roller remixed into a 3 hour long disco song) tossing and turning I began to play snippets of my life in my brain. I have one of those brains that likes to go on 100 mph ADD tantrums when I should be sleeping.
My brain produces a mental TV show where it just shows flash backs of the previous seasons. I was zooming around my life to lame loser boyfriends, to girls you knew would be knocked up before graduation, to Amanda's most embarrassing moments, to what it was like to be smaller than I am now. After watching an hour and a half of flash backs I rolled out of bed and went in search of Tylenol PM.
One of the things I was thinking about was a sign I saw at Disney's Animal Kingdom. Appropriately placed in a toilet stall, it read "The Scoop on Poop: elephants can poop up to 300 lbs per day". I thought to myself while reading this sign, I weigh as much as elephant can poo in a day! Great.. now I am equal to a steaming pile of pachyderm excrement!!
Which reminds me of when I was smaller and I heard on TV that a heavyweight boxer weighs around 200 lbs. At the time I was 210 lbs and was horrified that I was fatter than Mike Tyson was in his glory days. I would give anything to weigh 200 right now. A whole 150 lbs less than when I started this journey. That would mean I lost a whole person off of me.
I am happy to report that I am back to my pre-vacation weight of 307 as of Saturday AM. I am happy that I did not screw up my diet too terribly and that I didn't gain. The extra weight I had acquired was water weight as I expected because TOM showed up about three days after the 308 weigh in.
In other somewhat related news I have taken myself off of Phentermine. I am tired of the constipation, worsened insomnia, anxiety, crabbiness and feeling like I was butter scraped over too much toast. Much to my delight I have not wanted to eat everything in sight and I have not returned to my bad habits. After rehabbing my back last week I am back on the Wii Fit and walking with my husband and dogs.
It is funny I was averaging around 6 to 7 miles per day at Disney and toward the end of the trip it was becoming easier. If only I could mentally visit Disney world every day and walk 7 miles I would be as big as a toothpick in no time. I thought to myself last Saturday night that if I could do 7 miles in the sun at Disney than I could handle thirty minutes in the evening at 86 degrees in SC. Sure enough after walking about 4,000 or 5,000 steps around the neighborhood felt like nothing. This was very encouraging that if properly motivated I could handle anything exercise wise that I wanted to. After dinner last night I felt a little guilty after having one big slice and one mini slice of my fathers birthday cake. So to try to alleviate some of the guilt I started up the ol' Wii and proceeded to sweat for the next thirty minutes.
Things are on the upswing which is great, if I could only fall asleep life would be even better.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Readjusting into the "Real" World

After leaving mouse induced bliss land, coming back to reality is not all it is cracked up to. No one magically makes my bed for me while I am out having fun. All the cooking and post clean up is not done for me. I don't get a call from a Disney character to wake me in the morning and remind me that I am in the most magical place ever. My house is not surrounded by a river and magnolia trees and a horse drawn carriages full of smooching lovers.
Yes I return to a yard needing mowing, a car that needs fixing, a house that needs cleaning, a fridge that needs filling, a fill in the blank that needs to be done by me. Oh yeah and we are now
on super tight budget mode so fun is now officially over.
Why is it I wanted to leave Disney?
Oh yeah to come home!
Ok enough with the whine tasting party.
Disney World was absolutely amazing. I enjoyed every day. It was full of all my favorite characters and enjoyment that I was craving. I started out strong sticking to the diet and then half way through it all went to hell in a hand basket, (or maybe a rocket fuel powered car). I ate every yummy thing at every meal by half way through the trip. I am happy to say that it only made me gain 1.3 pounds. So I didn't completely undo everything done prior to the trip.

I am also happy to report that I was able to hoof it all over Disney with a minimal amount of pain. I think I had the normal amount of "OMG I just walked 15,000 steps today pain." I think even the most toned athletes dogs would be barking after that little jaunt. We averaged around 10,000 to 14,000 steps per day which converts from 5 to 7 miles PER DAY!

I think the last few days have been "recovery" time for myself, sister and fuzband. We have all been really tired, and lethargic. I think the fuzband pushed himself a little too hard driving and was feeling exceptionally ill on Monday. My back has been hollering mercy for a few days now. Apparently walking 5 to 7 miles, bouncing around on rides, cars, trams, buses, monorails, carriages, are not my lower back's idea of fun. I am reporting to you right now from my couch after eating advil and muscle relaxer. Oh and I had to take my fuzband's grandmother to the airport which meant Monday clocked two hours driving and Tuesday nearly four and a half hours driving which included rush hour in Charlotte NC coming from the Airport.

My beloved doggies will be delivered by my sister within the next hour. I didn't realize how much I would miss those little guys until I spotted a service dog at Disney and my heart yearned for the love of my Flapper and Mack-a-roni. I have been without them for almost two weeks.

I think I am a weird person because I am a creature of routine and when my routine is broken I feel very scattered and chaotic. I have a tough time falling back into a routine and sometimes it takes me longer than the average bear to get used to it. I am having a super tough time with sleeping because I have been so exhausted over the last few days. I am also having a hard time getting used to being back home. Between the back pain and the upside down schedule I am feeling a little weird. Hopefully things will feel more normal by tomorrow.

More Mouseworld reports and updates to come later.