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Monday, April 20, 2009

A little horn....no kazoo tooting. (bonus post)

OK has anyone ever been so fat that you have unloaded the dishwasher in a rolling chair because it was the only way it was going to get done?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been so fat that they have laid in bed sucked in their stomach just to get a pair of jeans on?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been so fat that they were not able to ride an amusement park ride?
(raising hand)
Has anyone stood instead of sat for fear the chair would buckle beneath you?
(raising hand)
Has anyone had to get help up and down a three step flight of stairs due to neck, back, and ankle pain?
(raising hand)
Has anyone used a mop to wash the shower while sitting on adjacent toilet because it was too hard to sand or stoop and clean with a sponge?
(raising hand)
(oy this one is bad) Has anyone backed up in the car to get the paper off the driveway while pulling in so they wouldn't have to stoop over to pick it up?
(raising hand)
Has anyone ordered a second drink at McDonald's because you were afraid they would think all the food you ordered was for you?
(raising hand)
Has anyone trained their foot to pick up anything so they wouldn't have to bend over to get it?
(raising hand)
Has anyone dropped anything on the floor and thought "aah screw it" and left it there because they didn't want to pick it up?
(raising hand)
Has anyone eaten in their car because they did not want people to watch how much they ate in public?
(raising hand)
Has anyone cancelled a trip to the beach because they felt too fat?
(raising hand)


Has anyone been able to fit in a booth without the table touching their tummy in the last month?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to completely bend over and touch toes lately?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to squat for the first time in about a zillion years lately?
(raising hand)
Has anyone bought smaller clothes because their old ones are looking circus clownish?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to haul something old and wear it lately?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to get in and out of a car with out using the door to pull themselves upright?
(raising hand)
Has someone been able to do yard work previously never done before?
(raising hand)
Can anyone pull affore said jeans up without unzipping them?
(raising hand)

Is anybody proud of themselves?
(raising hand and hopping up and down)

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