Hello I am drinking wine at 3:42 AM. Why am I drinking wine at 3:42 AM? Because it seemed like the best idea at the time. It is 2:44 AM and I decide to lay down and try to sleep because well, it is 2:44 AM. Flapjack the most nomable dachshund ever thinks I am his own personal salt lick, Fuzband is doing his best impression of a candy machine from Dr. Seuss and my foot well...it decides to send mind numbingly sharp pains up my heel and into my leg. Ya know all the things that can lull a girl to sleep right!? Aaaaaant....wrong answer.
My befuddled mind thinks..wine yeah...that will make me sleepy....(visions of alcoholism and flipper handed babies waltz through my head). Mmmm wine that is in the fridge and maybe a low fat cheese stick so I can be all sophisticated and what not. Oh and there must be some fat free triscuits to go with the wine. Yes we cannot have wine and cheese with out the monkey grabbin' triscuits!
Isn't it romantic? You, me the wine, triscuits, my right contact freezing up and the triscuits? Oh yeah...you know you want this. (picture Wal Mart Just My Size tank top and shorts living it up on the couch)
I am hoping that the sleep deprivation of my impending motherhood will make me sleep. Yes I am actually looking forward to sleep deprivation to keep me from having insomnia. Yes that would be great, the ability to lay down and just...sleep! Oh what wonders it will bring, actually falling asleep when you want to.
I envy my husband who can just think too hard about sleeping and sleep. He could probably fall asleep anywhere and anytime he wants. Me...I have to have eight billion pillows aligned with seventh house of Mars, a fan, laying in the just right position, with just the right thought in my head, and a small miracle to fall asleep. Fuzband no he is over there on a stump with a rock for a pillow sawing logs with a peaceful look on his face. It is not fair no fair, wah no fair.
Ok I am done winenining about my insomnia and boring you to tears. Ta ta.
AND THEN - On top of it all, in the middle of everything else, Ike has dyslexia. I've suspected something was up for awhile now (one of my older brothers has dyslexia...