See Wall, Apply Forehead at High Speed, Repeat as Necessary

Ok I have fallen off the wagon, into the gutter and now I am rolling around in the gutter and splashing in puddles.
SuperPucky has been bad, naughty, terrible and made some "ineffective choices" as my therapist would tell me. In other words I am eating like an idiot.
Ever since my trip to Charleston it has just been a free for all of eating like I have a tapeworm and it is all going to magically go away. Eating as if I won't start gaining weight. (Which I have about four pounds or five depending on how my scale feels that morning)
TOM and his unpredictability has me believing that some of the weight gain I have experienced is just water, but personally I think some of it is good old fashioned fat.
Birthdays can be hard for me and I am ignoring that quite well. Yes I am proud that I am much smaller than I was last birthday and I am doing very well. Yes I am proud of the accomplishments that I have made, so why am I undoing them? Why am I backsliding and why can't I stop? I don't get it, I know what is going to happen if I keep this crap up. I know that pizza is not a smart food choice. I know that frappacccpappachinoos from Starbucks are not low in fat. I know that coffee cake is not the way to a smaller me. I know all this, yet I still eat. Am I trying to sooth a hurt that I am ignoring? Am I trying to fill a hole inside myself that I am pretending isn't there? What in the ham sandwich is wrong with my brain?! Grrrrr.
Am I scared that I may succeed? Am I scared that I won't make my goals by January? Am I secretly making the failure true so I don't have to worry about it? Am I thinking to hard?
Ok I have been here before and I have said curse words, threw up my hands and "Ah to hell with it all", gained the weight back and was terribly miserable. Then I begin the cycle again by hitting rock bottom and starting all over. Usually the starting all over is from an even higher weight because I just have to top myself.
So we are going to do things differently this time. I will catch myself before I fall too far. I will stop the "ineffective" eating aka eating like a refugee at the rice drop. I will claim victory over this stupid problem and move forward. :::"Onward Christian Soldiers" playing gradually louder in background:::::: I will not repeat the mistakes of the past because I AM smarter than that. I HAVE learned from my mistakes. I WILL lose more weight and I WILL be SUCCESSFUL! As God as my witness I will not go one more month weighing over 300 pounds! YOU HEAR ME INTERNET! :::shakes fists of fury:::

Leaving Town to Go Home

Photo from: www.charlestonsouthernhomes.com

Charleston Skyline, Cooper River Bridge

Charleston was a wonderful change of pace this weekend. Even though it is only 100 miles away from home it feels like home and it feels like refuge. Having gone there as a child so many times to visit my brother at MUSC I got to know the city pretty well. As soon as I smell the salty air I know I am there, I am home.

Our room at the Charleston Marriott

View from the hotel, the marina View from the room, pool and patio area

The hotel I booked on hotwire was absolutely gorgeous. It was every bit a 4 star hotel. The room was luxurious and comfortable. The lobby and the pool area was opulent and inviting. The hotel was only five minutes from downtown Charleston and fifteen minutes from the beach. I still marvel at the fact I only paid 100.00 for it. They were running a special this week on their website for 150.00 a night! I wonder what the regular rate is.

Folly Beach, and pier in the background


Fuzband and my scarf trying to attack me
We spent most of Saturday at Folly Beach, it was perfect, warm and sunny and just enough breeze to keep it comfortable. I had packed a picnic lunch of tuna fish, baked lays, deviled eggs, water, and fresh cut fruit.

The hotel lobby during the thunderstorm

Photo from http://www.tommycondons.com/

We went back to the room and prepared to go to dinner. In typical South Carolina fashion a thunderstorm rolled up and wrecked havoc for about an hour. We sat in the lobby watching the rain blow the palmetto trees around and pouring rain. After it let up we drove into the historic district and ate dinner at Tommy Condons Seafood and Irish Pub. It was excellent. We shared spinach and artichoke dip, I had steak, shrimp, broccoli, and potato, David had Mahi Mahi broccoli and potato. For desert we shipped a snicker pie slice covered with hot fudge. Dinner was delightful we sat on the patio as horse drawn carriages and tourists passed by.

View from the bar while listening to Mr. Steve FM

Sun setting over the Ashley River

After dinner we went to the slave market and picked up a few souvenirs and window shopped. After shopping we headed back to the hotel to have a drink and retire for the evening. On the third floor there is a rooftop bar with views of the Ashley River. We sat and had drinks watching the sun go down over the tree tops and the water. It was very romantic until Mr. Lite Rock cranked up the PA on his acoustic guitar. Their idea of live entertainment was this fella and his guitar singing. He wasn't bad if you love to listen to light rock as loud as your stereo will play it. We managed to ignore it until he began to massacre a song by The Cure and then when he started to play Jammin' by Bob Marley I had had enough. I threw back the rest of my margarita and we were out of there. I felt bad for anyone in a room within 200 feet of that bar because that was the loudest acoustic guitar I had ever heard in my life.

The next day I was craving pancakes so we set out in search of Nannerpus (IHOP). We were going to go to the IMAX theater but since they did not advertise show times in the local paper and at 11:00 it was already 95 degrees with no wind we opted for a mall excursion. David and I tromped around the mall and headed back toward home.

When we got back in our own town we went to the movies and had burgers. Feeling like I had gotten all the vacation food eating out of my system we finally went back home.Even though I did eat rich high calorie food on Sunday I couldn't finish half of my food, I barely ate half of the pie. On Sunday I couldn't finish half of my omelet and half of my pancakes. when we ate burgers I couldn't eat all my fries. I was pretty impressed with myself. I feel refreshed and ready to take on my weight loss challenge. I got a lot of exercises in and I am proud that things weren't as bad as they could have been. Speaking of things and stuff I think my washer is calling my name.

I guess sometimes home is truly where the heart is not the address on your mortgage payment.