Exercise...and one and two and three

Today I was at the gym and it has gotten me thinking about things related to going to a gym and exercise in general.
Have you ever noticed that the majority of exercise equipment accessories etc. are geared toward everyone but the ones that need to the most? For instance, I want basketball shorts, you know the kind that are slinky and won't go all hungry butt/crotch on me. (Picture old woman at amusement park with her shorts going up like the letter V toward parts that shall not be named.) That light/shiny type material that is not clingy and comfortable to wear. Oh yes I would love a pair of those. Problem? I cannot locate them in my size. Apparently large women only need sweat pants style or Bermuda shorts.
Apparently we big folk don't like basket ball but love bunched up material between our
legs. Yes it would be pleasant to wear something other than yoga pants, capri pants and sweat pants to the gym. Mainly because I get hot, I am big and I am trying to be un-big and that requires EFFORT. But if you are as big around as my thigh there are forty two billion kinds of shorts in every color that Rainbow Brite could shoot out of her butt. Who needs to work out more I tell you WHO?? Is it girls like me, or the girl who looks like she might pass out if she doesn't EAT SOMETHING!?
I would also like to buy a sports bra that is: 1.) in my size 2.) Doesn't make me look like I have a uni-boob 3.) Does not require a loan to buy because I would actually like to buy more than one, and 4.) actually works properly. I have looked and the only ones I could locate were retardedly expensive and I am sorry I am not kicking out close to a hundred bucks for ONE bra.
I would like a bigger variety of gym shoes for my size. I know that there are other size 11 ladies out there, don't they like shoes too? I went to a local sports store and asked to see what they had in the way of cross training shoes. They had two pairs, let's count them together, one, two. Very good! The first pair were fugly the second pair were even fuglier. I found my pair of New Balance at a store that was located inside that store. A concept that sort of perplexed me but, I digress. They actually had several shoes in my size. Thank God for New Balance.
The other sad thing I noticed at my gym is the lack of folks with extra junk in the trunk. I mean us that have been couch jockeys. I guess they are waiting until January to get back in there. I suppose that they are busy pile driving cookies so they don't have time to join me at the gym. I know I am being a tad hypocritical. I am after all the girl who paid for a Gold's Gym membership and then bearly went a hand full of times.
I just felt super uncomfortable there when I went to Gold's Gym. I suppose I just wasn't commited enough to exercising. I have just as much right to go in and sweat my brains out as the guys who dearly love to grunt and stare at them selves while weight lifting. I sometimes felt self conscious about the women who would come in wearing next to nothing and the men who would gawk at them. I think that is why I love exercising at the YMCA. I don't have to deal, for the most part with half dressed women. Occasionally some little teeny bopper cheerleader type will come in with their skimpy could be underwear shorts and tiny little baby doll shirts. These girls will get looks from men who make me want to arrest them for being pervy.
I suppose that there is not a huge market for plus size exercise equipment, but maybe there would be less plus size clothing if there were. Just a thought.

Is It Just Me?

Ok I am needing some feedback from my readers. (All five gazillion of you :P )

When I was leaving Subway with the fuzzband today (feeling pretty proud for not caving in to getting Mexican for lunch) we crossed in front of two teen aged boys. The bane of all plus size women and men is the cruel teen. I looked over to make sure I was not going to become a grill ornament on their dad's Volvo. I noticed them gawking at me, not just glancing up or looking, I mean full on gawking and giggling. Being plus sized for a large part of my life I have gotten used to stares from people. Today it kind of slapped me in the face. I have been so proud of my progress and happy with my new smaller size. These two pimple covered dorks sucked me right back into feeling like an awkward teen. All of a sudden I could feel how big 310 lbs. are. I felt like someone snuck up and popped my balloon that had "Way to go on the 40 lbs!" plastered all over it.

Am I alone on this one? Has anyone else had complete strangers sum you up with a stare and a giggle. Or have you ever gotten the elbow and whisper between two people as you pass. Of course then there are the a-holes who speak loudly enough for you to hear them.

I know most would say, "Don't let them bother you. They are just stupid teens." or the ever popular "You shouldn't let what other people think bother you they don't know you, they don't matter.". The thing is I know all of that and I understand that but DAMMIT I am tired of being entertainment for others!

I had a cup of water in my hand as I crossed that street. It took every ounce of energy I had not to hurl the water at that car as hard as I could.

I am a human being. I deserve respect. I deserve the right to be able to walk down the street, through the mall, or in any public area without being ridiculed. If I were a minority it would be racism or bigotry, but since I am over weight it is open frickin' season.

UGH! I wish I had a paintball gun and I could just unload on the insensitive douche bags who think that just because people are overweight that it is OK to pick on them.

I know that this is a bit of a rant, and I apologize for the bitching. I feel better having expelled that hatred. I know idiots can't help being idiots because they were born with smaller brains. So I shouldn't be angry at them because they are functionally retarded, because after all wouldn't that be wrong?