Happy Father's Day from Monkey Man

(Disclaimer I totally stole this from The Daily Balance because it was such a beautiful idea)

Dear DaDa,

I love you more than I can actually say. I wish I could talk so I asked MaMa to tell you how I feel.
I am so happy that you and Mommy decided to fall in love then take that love and make me.
I want to thank you for the nights you slept with me so Mommy could get some rest when I was just a little baby. I want to thank you for staying in the hospital with me and putting me in your little cot so I could rest better. I want to thank you for rocking me to sleep before I could fall asleep on my own.
I love the "baby secrets" you whisper in my ear and make me laugh and listen in awed silence.
You make me so happy when you get on the floor and play with me. When you come home from work I am so happy that you are there. I miss you so much. I know you work so hard so Mommy can be with me all day. I know that Mommy appreciates that too.
Thank you for taking over for Mommy when she needs a break, I love being the center of your attention.
I can't wait until you can throw a ball to me, go running with me, and show me how to ride a bike.
It will be so much fun when you teach me how to drive, swim, and how to be a man.
I know that you will be a great father, best man, and grandpa.
I thank God that you are my Daddy because you are the best one for me.
Happy Father's Day Dada.
Love, Robbie

Back!

Hello anyone who may still remember this blog. I could give you a million excuses as to why I haven't been blogging. None of them are very good. Some of them are fairly legit.
Robbie for one has kept me running my behind off. Post partum depression which I have been battling is probably the true culprit. Good ol procrastination is definitely a contributor.
So what am I up to these days? Number one chasing after my son who is now learning how to walk. Number two I am watching kids after school and now just one all day for the summer. I love working from home and being able to be a stay at home Mom. I do miss working with adults and having adult conversations. Some days I am so happy to see my husband walking through the door so I can have a conversation about something other than poop and barbies.
Life has had a lot of ups and downs. I have had to really re-evaluate my friends and family which has been excruciatingly hard. I have had to let a few people go on their merry way and welcome back some old friends. I have actually had to cut off people from my own family which has been REALLY hard. When I realized that they weren't who I thought they were. When I realized that for my own emotional well being I would be better off not speaking to them it was a bitter pill to swallow.
I have been battling weight gain big time. I have gained back a lot of what I lost before getting pregnant. that has played hell on my self esteem. I am struggling to find my way back to being as motivated as I was when I wrote this blog.
I think avoiding writing has been a symptom of all the problems I have been facing. I believe that actually articulating the issues I am dealing with would make them more "real". Getting back to writing has been something I have been putting off, even though I know I enjoy it so much.
Why do we do that to ourselves? Working out is the same as dieting and blogging for me. When I do work out I love it and enjoy it so much. Just getting myself to the gym has proved impossible. I don't know what I am so afraid of. I don't know what I am worried about? The stares? I have dealt with that before and over come it. The comments? I have heard those too and got over it? Worrying about Robbie in the day care area? I could let David watch him and be just fine. The truth is there is no excuse. I have made up a litany of good reasons not to go. The real reason is probably laziness.
I can certainly find a few minutes to rattle off what ever is on my mind to my blog. Be damned correct grammar and editing the hell out of it. At least I would be writing again. That feeds my soul and my passions. I know I can find time to exercise, I have a friend who has four children, a god daughter, a husband, a full time job and SHE has found time to exercise. So I know I can too. There are thousands of people who have lost a lot more weight than I have, and I have done it before SO I CAN TOO.
It feels so nice to blog again. I don't know if I have an audience anymore. I guess that really doesn't matter. Truthfully this is more for me than anyone else.
I am excited to be back. I am going to start getting back the things that bring me joy personally.
And now for some gratuitous Robbie pictures: