A little horn....no kazoo tooting. (bonus post)

OK has anyone ever been so fat that you have unloaded the dishwasher in a rolling chair because it was the only way it was going to get done?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been so fat that they have laid in bed sucked in their stomach just to get a pair of jeans on?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been so fat that they were not able to ride an amusement park ride?
(raising hand)
Has anyone stood instead of sat for fear the chair would buckle beneath you?
(raising hand)
Has anyone had to get help up and down a three step flight of stairs due to neck, back, and ankle pain?
(raising hand)
Has anyone used a mop to wash the shower while sitting on adjacent toilet because it was too hard to sand or stoop and clean with a sponge?
(raising hand)
(oy this one is bad) Has anyone backed up in the car to get the paper off the driveway while pulling in so they wouldn't have to stoop over to pick it up?
(raising hand)
Has anyone ordered a second drink at McDonald's because you were afraid they would think all the food you ordered was for you?
(raising hand)
Has anyone trained their foot to pick up anything so they wouldn't have to bend over to get it?
(raising hand)
Has anyone dropped anything on the floor and thought "aah screw it" and left it there because they didn't want to pick it up?
(raising hand)
Has anyone eaten in their car because they did not want people to watch how much they ate in public?
(raising hand)
Has anyone cancelled a trip to the beach because they felt too fat?
(raising hand)


Has anyone been able to fit in a booth without the table touching their tummy in the last month?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to completely bend over and touch toes lately?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to squat for the first time in about a zillion years lately?
(raising hand)
Has anyone bought smaller clothes because their old ones are looking circus clownish?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to haul something old and wear it lately?
(raising hand)
Has anyone been able to get in and out of a car with out using the door to pull themselves upright?
(raising hand)
Has someone been able to do yard work previously never done before?
(raising hand)
Can anyone pull affore said jeans up without unzipping them?
(raising hand)

Is anybody proud of themselves?
(raising hand and hopping up and down)

The Fat Fairy visited me last night!

Ladies and gentlemen I caught the Fat Fairy last night in action. She was stealing a pound from me. You will see a picture I took of her as she gave me a celebration concert in my back yard. The celebration was in honor of losing 40 pounds total since October. I have often wondered what she looked like and what she did with the weight. Judging from the top of her costume I know now.

Ever wonder where that weight actually goes? I mean I know that the fat cells get left behind and all but where does the icky fat go? Does it get sucked out of you by the Fat Fairy? Does she take it to be deposited on some unfortunate soul who has been hoovering Ben and Jerry's like crystal meth for the last week? Inquiring minds would like to know!

I have actually stuck to my guns on something I promised myself. I said I was going to start reading more again. I looked around the house and said. Hey, kinda hard to do read more when you have read every book here. Now I know some of you will think, the library is free you should be going there! I am not the most dependable person when it comes to the library. I hate paying late fees and on top of that if I really like the book I want to keep it. Plus my family rotates books around if it is really good.

I have started off with The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I know she is not the most loved person in the world. I have however read several of her other books and they have had profound positive impact on my life. I think 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives should be issued to every girl at puberty. I wish I had read it before I started dating. My life would have been much more pleasant and have less losery boyfriends in my past.

Next up is The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck. Ok, I know #1 Glenn Beck talk show and radio talk show host that again not everyone loves. When he is not ranting about politics he is actually pretty damn funny. I have seen him live and actually met him once. He is a pretty cool guy despite what people say. #2 I know it isn't Christmas anymore but I have heard so many good things about this book and it was a super deal.

Last but not least my vacation book, I purchased Twilight by Stephenie Meyer to see what all the hype is about. Since I like Anne Rice and Vampirreirey (yes it is a word I just invented it so yna) stuff I thought what the hell, it is on sale. I figured that the demographic for this is young adults so I won't strain a brain muscle trying to read it on vacation. I don't care if people see me reading it poolside because I will never see them again in my life. This comes from the idea I should be reading something more profound like Catcher in the Rye or A Raisin in the Sun.

The cool thing about all these books is they came from a really neat book store called Rainy Day Pal books. It is located in a historic restored Mill In Lexington, SC. The store is chalked full of all kinds of books dirt cheap! I got 50% off of retail on all the books and they are all hard back in great condition. Some of the books there are new and used. The best part of all you can trade them in for credit toward your next purchase! Neato bandito!

E Books are cool and all but there is just some thing tactile and cool about having a book. The smell of the glue and paper, the artwork on the dust cover. Roaming around cool old bookstores and looking at all the different books. Wondering how much collected time is invested in them all.

You can blame my love of reading and books on Levar Burton. Yes, Levar Burton, Jordi Laforge to some of you fellow geeks. Yes Mr. Levar Burton and his Reading Rainbow. Me and all my other fellow elementary school mates would sing the Reading Rainbow song when it came on. (I am laughing to myself because if anyone who reads this is around my age they now have that song stuck in their head). I always dreamt of being one of those kids that reviewed a book and ended it with "You don't have to take my word for it".

http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6j8EiWIVZs