_________

Showing posts with label Farts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Farts. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Worky Work Busy Bee!

I am 10 weeks soon to be 11 and my energy has returned somewhat! I don't feel like I have run a marathon with another person strapped to me at the end of everyday. I am not counting on this trend to continue. I am learning to take this pregnant thing one day at a time.
Work has been hectic, interesting, exciting and believe it or not fun. I am making really cool new friends. Women I actually look up to, like the ex-police officer and military police woman in my class. She can seriously kick butt, she is really smart and super nice. There is a single Mom of four who moved from NY to SC by HERSELF! Holy crap she is my new hero.
These girls are schooling me on pregnancy, being working mom's and they have totally embraced me in the Mommy Sorority! I feel loved SQUEE!
My supervisor is WAY cool, she is a mother of four and her youngest is 6. She has been a working mom most of her career at my job. She is being super supportive of me and my doctor appointment/training conflict issus. She was not able to come down to talk to me during training so she called me on the way home, on her cell phone, on the way to pick up her teenager from school. Go supermommanagerlady YEA! When she called me this afternoon I knew I struck gold with my manager.
Tonight I managed to cook dinner, pick up the house a little bit and I am working on the laundry. I barley got anything done last week but making an imprint of my behind on the couch.
What a difference a week makes!
The only bit of whining I have is my flatulence issues. Good lord I could blow up a hot air balloon and float that sucker to Alaska. It is getting ridiculous y'all. Last night I ran the dog out of my bedroom! (No that is not me being overly dramatic, it actually happened) Thank goodness the trouser symphony kicks off in the evening and early morning so I am sparing my coworkers olfactory senses.
I have to go work on laundry so I must bid you all goodnight.
Remember keep your car in your lane and your nose upwind from me.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sweet Relief

Yesterday morning I could have sworn I had a video camera peeking in through my curtains. It felt like I was on some cheesy sitcom and I was waiting for the canned laughter.

I got an email from my HR manager at my new job asking me to call her night before last. The next morning I get up to call her. I get up and dial the number. The ever so sweet fuzband decides to take out the trash and starts to bang the bag on the floor (loudly) while I am listening to the ring. Then I friggin' GET HER NAME WRONG! Not once, not twice, THREE FRIGGIN' times. I am struggling here you guys. If you will recall that when I first interviewed with her and two other managers it was like being interviewed by Mt. Rushmore with matching personalities. Instead of trying to help me out by saying her name she starts saying "There is no one here by that name, I am sorry I don't know who you want.". Yeah...she has people skills. By the way this is a customer service job and this lady has MILES of interpersonal skills. As I am struggling to remember her name the trash banging husband BREAKS WIND in the kitchen. I mean one of those farts that should be recorded in the "Gastrointestinal Hall of Fame". At this point I am paralyzed with fear. Did she hear him fart? Does she hate who ever this idiot who can't remember her name? Oh yeah and I am about to tell her I AM PREGNANT. This is off to a roaring start.

I finally remember her first name and manage to mumble it out and she recognizes that I want to speak to her the HR manager who I have already asked for. Yeah...I can see me going to her with aching personal issues in the future. UGH. I tell her I am pregnant and I get a congratulations so dry it makes Arizona look like a tropical rain forest. I explain to her my concerns and fear about missing training class and getting in trouble for absenteeism. That I want to be open and up front blah blah blah. Believe it or not I get the classic pass the buck. Talk to your manager and talk to your trainer and try to work around their schedule. I might as well have told her that I had warts that needed removing on my left knee and I had to have a procedure done. It was handled with little to no tact. So screw it. I am not going to go to her for jack from here on out. Obviously if she is not concerned about the whole issue I am not going to stress over it myself.

I am going to my OB appointments come hell or high water because this baby is coming whether my job cares or not!

Yeah, the pregnancy hormones have not kicked in at all...

On other fronts I am taking benefiber..take a wild guess why. The scale says I have gained four pounds in two days and I am not buying that it is fat and water. Lets just say things are not moving along like they should. I am going to make stir fry for dinner and see if that doesn't "motivate" things.

Until next time keep your chin up and your lunch down.